My life is average

Today, I discovered MyLifeIsAverage.com. It's a spinoff of FML, and stinking hilarious. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you.

1. Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. But it was ok since I knew I'm adopted. MLIA

2. Today my wife of 10 years left me. She came back after grocery shopping. She also got gas. MLIA

3. Today, I asked a pregnant-looking woman if she was pregnant. She was. MLIA.

4. Today, I had to choose between a strawberry flavored Dum Dum and a mystery flavored Dum Dum. I decided to be adventurous and choose the mystery flavor; it was strawberry flavored. MLIA

5. Today, I decided to tan on the balcony. I took my top off and my neighbor came out and saw me. He's a guy. So am I. We greeted each other. MLIA.

6. Today, no one wished me a happy birthday. I wasn't suprised, today isn't my birthday. MLIA.

7. Today, I was texting my friend. I accidentally sent it to the wrong person. It was not a revealing or embarrassing message. Everything is all right. MLIA

8. Today, I wore Axe body spray. I wasn't tackled by any women. MLIA.

9. Today, I accidentally knocked over a bottle of water near my computer. It was okay though. The cap was on. MLIA.

10. Today I got my hair cut at Great Clips and when they called out the name "Ryan" I saw that Ryan was deep in conversation so I pretended to be him. MLIA.