Thinking about my future

It's so scary to think about the future, you know?
Of course I know that it's all in God's hands, and that He will take care of everything in a better way than I can ever imagine, but the human side of me still worries about it. Like most other girls, I have this idea of what my future should look like. Where I am, what I'm doing, who I'm with, what kind of life I'm living, etc. Brought on mostly by chick-flicks that give me unrealistic expectations not only of guys but of relationships that are nearly perfect, I've pretty much planned out my entire future in my head.

Right now, when I think of the future, I think of my travels of course, because that's what's on my mind right now and that's what this blog is about. But then I fast-forward to settling down. I see myself with a husband (and I have an idea of who that is too) and kids, raising them in a town not unlike the one I grew up in. I see myself going to work everyday and loving every minute of it because I am spending my days teaching other people to speak Spanish. I see my husband having a really good job and us as a family getting to travel in a way I never really got to. Sure, my family went to the beach during the summer, but I've always wanted to go to more places. As of the moment, I've never been further West than Purdy, MO, further South than the Bahamas, further North than Niagara Falls, or further East than Washington, DC. I want my kids to be able to look in their school books, see pictures of a monument, city, or park and say "I've been there. I've seen that in person."

And it's scary to think that my life won't turn out like that. Of course, as I said earlier, God has EVERYTHING in control, and whatever He has planned will be better, but right now, the life I described earlier is what I want. At this point in my life, I can't see things going any other way, and right now not everything is going how I planned...so that's 'bad'. Does that make any sense at all? I hope so.

Well that's my random thoughts for this night as I put off studying some more.